I feel like hitting a roadblock. Just because the last face to face classes for this year happened yesterday. My knees just gave out on me. Seriously, I always feel as if they are smoking or worn out. I badly need to get that license next month, or any time between this January to March, since my student license expires on April.

Anyway, a quick recap of what happened recently.

December 9, 2022

Heraldo Filipino Rejection

It all started with a text message saying I had passed the Preliminary Assessment and will now go through a Panel Interview on December 6th at around 6PM. Considering how far the campus is from my house, I figured I may not make it in time to join the online call. But later on that day, I found myself nearing home at around 5:30. Realizing I could make it in time, I texted back saying I want to continue the application. They responded by giving me a choice of rescheduling or proceed as planned. I chose to reschedule because why not. They sent me the link for the December 9 interview and all I had to do next was wait.

That turned out to be a bad decision.

I entered the Zoom meeting all confident and ready to answer questions that they are going to throw at me. It started at 6:30, with 12 participants in the meeting. There was me, 6-9 panelists, and 2 spectators. Judging from their names and profile pictures, the interview was meant to be anonymous from my side, as they all had their names set to either “Panelist 1” or “Spectator_1” and so on and so forth; and their Zoom profile pictures were set to default. Unfortunately, I recognized some of them as they did not bother changing their profile pictures.

The interview started great, with them asking questions about my inspirations, writing styles, and my responses in my earlier application.

And then things started to go south.

Panelist 7 started to ask deeper questions about journalism. I stumbled a bit. I knew questions like this were going ym way, but I regret not taking a look at those topics before the interview. I remember answering that journalism is a process of gathering and analyzing data and then spreading this data to the stakeholders of the publication. That was a bad, ignorant, incomplete, and unsatisfying answer. I know now, looking at it from hindsight.

Panelist 7 then proceeded to ask me why I wanted to join. I said I want to contribute to the Literary section, aiming to amplify its significance in the overall publication and help popularize the section among students who may not e interested in the first place.

She responded with a question, asking what social media outlets of the HF do I know of?

I answered Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and their official website.

She responded with:

Don’t you know that we have an issue?

That is how I heard it with the best of my ability. She definitely sounded annoyed and heated. I realized though that the woman may be talking about issuu.com. It hit me. I know that! I passed by it when I was digging deep into the publication’s online reaches. I was feeling so pissed at myself that while she was asking the question, I said:

Ah yes, yes, I also know about that!

I sounded like a know-it-all. Sigh. At that moment I knew I wasn’t going to get in. Combined with other questions where I know I bombed the response such as:

“What is your favorite book, and who is the author?”

I answered The Martian by Andy Weir. Bad choice, completely unrelated to journalism. I tried to recover though by saying I admire his ability to explain concepts in a way that a normal person would understand. In hindsight, Number the Stars by Lois Lowry was a better answer.

“Why Literary?”

I said I wanted to use the power of creative writing to make readers understand a certain view about a topic or make them see the issue from another aspect without forcing them or changing facts. I do not know how this answer fared, but it is highly likely they viewed it as very shallow. Cheers.

“Are you willing to work for other sections as well?”

I bombed this by saying a big NO. Apparently, it is favorable for them to have authors write for or do other tasks for other sections as well. I am still trying to find out why they do this. Why did they let me choose my preffered section in the first place? I also said I won’t continue my application if they put me in the Web Section, which may have rubbed them the wrong way.

Questions about my motives and aspirations for applying to the Literary section.

I was giving incoherent answers and statements that made me hard to read. They were trying to find my side in a given situation, which unfortunately, I am not willing to show. Apparently, a journalist’s aim is always to be published and must never write for themself or for personal gains. I may have produced a selfish and arrogant image through my answers and that may be the final nail in the coffin for me.

When they all wrapped up, they sent me to a breakout room where I waited for the result. After a few minutes, they let me back in the main meeting room, and after a few statements:

“Unfortunately, we are not able to accept you…” The final blow has been dealt. I smile, say thank you, say I’ll see them around campus and then leave the meeting.

While I may be a bit bitter, I am thankful that I went out of my comfort zone and allowed myself to be roasted by those journalists because they showed me what I am only capable of, allowing me to set my priorities straight.

There are two reasons for rejecting me: One, they believe I lack experience in journalism. and Two, they think I don’t fully understand the idea of journalism. Sweet
They showed me that journalism is hard for me. I will not pursue joining the HF again. It is clear at this point.
They said some nice things though. They see potential in me because I was “creative and idealistic”

Other than those things, It is clear that there is no room for journalism in my space. Maybe in the far future, but not now nor soon.